Jock Rock, Volume 1: How does the Jock series hold up today?

ESPN’s Jock series lived fast, died young and left a solid, influential legacy. To those first two points, 2019 witnesses both the 25th anniversary of the series’ start and the 20-year mark of its ending.

From 1994 to 1999, ESPN produced at least one compilation of established or suggested sports sound-system staples. Concomitant with Jock Rock 2000, Fox Sports held the rights to Jock Jams, Volume 5 to close that hot streak in 1999.

For the next eight weeks, we will review all eight albums from that span.

Apart from 2001’s All Star Jock Jams and 2003’s Stadium Anthems, the niche genre subsequently faded from mainstream discography. But canned music at games was on the rise leading up to the icebreaker that was Jock Rock, Volume 1. We have long since learned it is not going anywhere as a practice.

Besides the steady turn of the tide from predominantly organ to primarily taped music, 1994’s New York sports scene created a timely atmosphere for this series. Madison Square Garden’s two chief tenants, the Rangers and Knicks, had each gone to their respective playoff finals. If not for an NHL lockout, the Blueshirts’ banner night would have happened in October, the same month Jock Rock, Volume 1 hit the shelves.

Come what may, early in his protracted tenure as MSG’s music director, Ray Castoldi was embracing the change in sports music. He was instrumental in the album’s production, selecting the borrowed tracks and contributing some organ interstitials.

Six weeks after the compilation’s release, he told the New York Times’ Douglas Martin, “If you catch the moment with the right music, it can pump up the energy level of the entire team. And the right music can be confusing and disorienting to opponents.”

Added Monica Lynch, president of the partnering record company Tommy Boy, in the same report, “It’s so simple, Neanderthal really. Basically, you’ve got a captive audience of people who really enjoy being whipped into a frenzy.”

The frenzies would only get more fevered and acquire a greater breadth of enabling tracks in the years ahead. Lynch’s word choice of “Neanderthal” is striking given how primitive Jock Rock, Volume 1 looks today.

Of course, that is inevitable, and it reflects the early evolution of public-address disc-jockeying at arenas. The first Jock Rock, like most high-profile sporting playlists of its time, was short and stocked with older songs. There are only a few surprising omissions, such as the Troggs’ “Wild Thing,” which this author can clearly recall hearing during multiple TV timeouts at one November 1994 Providence Bruins game.

Come what may, after a snippet of the late Rangers vocalist John Amirante’s Star-Spangled Banner, an abrupt buzzer signals it’s game time for Jock Rock. Here is what ensues, and how it has fit into the sporting scene, then and now.

 

 

“We Will Rock You”

You don’t even need the lyrics to kindle a crowd with this Queen classic. A half-minute of the stomp-stomp-clap rhythm can usually fill a brief break in the action on its own.

But with or without vocals, “We Will Rock You” has sustained its effect long after losing its regal position on sporting playlists. It rightly leads off the full-length tracks of Jock Rock, Volume 1 because it was an unavoidable staple in the early days of canned music.

Adding to its athletic connotations, the song was just coming off inclusion in 1992’s The Mighty Ducks and 1994’s D2. The latter’s release preceded Jock Rock by seven months. Also in October 1994, the IHL’s Chicago Wolves began operation, and would use “We Will Rock You” as their opening faceoff song for years to come.

With or without reinforced interest in the band via biopics, this song is still welcome in today’s crowded cue. The only difference a quarter-century later is a one-shift limit per game.

“Blitzkrieg Bop”

Another straightforward hook makes the rest of this Ramones song optional. With written cues on the big screen, “Hey! Ho! Let’s go!” can easily be customized as “Hey! Ho! Go (Team)!” with any monosyllabic squad name or shorthand version of the name. I.e. “Hey! Ho! Go Caps!” for the Washington Capitals.

As another testament to its staying power, “Blitzkrieg Bop” came back in 2003 as part of Stadium Anthems. In fact, ESPN’s one-off attempt at reviving its musical compilations recycled each of Jock Rock, Volume 1’s first three tracks. Although the third has long been ruined for reasons the next capsule will explain.

“Rock and Roll (Part 2)”

As a universal goal or victory song, this instrumental riff with a few “Hey!” chants in the chorus was right there with “We Will Rock You” in canned music’s primordial period. It sustained its widespread, straightforward status for more than a decade after the Jock series.

But after artist Gary Glitter’s conviction on horrendous sex crimes, this has no place at the stadium or arena today. Not in a canned cue, not on an organist or pep band’s music sheet, maybe not even in cover form. That is all there is to say at this point.

“Mony Mony”

The presence of “Bang the Drum All Day” proves that Jock Rock had no rule against featuring songs produced after 1980. With that in mind, it is strange that Billy Idol’s cover of “Mony Mony” does not make the cut.

Instead, the far less energized Tommy James and the Shondells original bats cleanup on the track list. Those who went to enough games at enough different venues in the latter half of the 1990s probably heard it at least once. But for self-explanatory reasons, both then and now, you are more likely to hear Idol’s take.

 

 

“Shotgun”

This Junior Walker & The All Stars tune is the only full-fledged Jock Rock, Volume 1 track without its own Wikipedia page. As another testament to its legacy, it saw far less (but some) PA action than its Jock cohabitants even when the series was hot.

“I Got You (I Feel Good)”

Those who arranged the track order on this album knew what they were doing when they made it follow “He Shoots, He Scores!” Using the tie-ins with Madison Square Garden, that interstitial simply consists of the Rangers’ distinctive goal horn.

Overall, the better-known Brown got less play than Glitter with this easy choice of response to a score or victory. With that said, there was a time leading up to this compilation’s release when some arenas still found ways to use it more than once per game.

In those days, it made ample sense especially because of the song’s frequent use in advertising. But today’s crowded, contemporized in-game presentation landscape has all but drowned Brown’s voice out. It should, however, get priority any time a team wants to have a Retro Night.

“Tequila”

This is an oldie young millennials likely first learned through another loose association with sports movies. In a rather revolting scene from The Sandlot, this quick instrumental tune (with only the title twice exclaimed as the lyrics) runs its rapid course. The 1993 film preceded this album by 18 months.

It is also worth noting that Kurt Browning, who figure skated for the host country at the 1988 Calgary Olympics, made this a staple in his performances. And that was when canned music was barely emerging as a practice for team sporting events.

With all that said, this 1958 Champs single is more than twice as old now as it was then. Most, if not all, mainstream arenas have long swept it the way of the Sandlot kids’ vomit.

 

“Dance to the Music”

Like “Shotgun,” this product of Sly and the Family Stone was always less prominent on playlists across the sporting universe. But it was not absent everywhere, and the titular command at the start was an easy to get kids grooving in the stands.

These days, the song’s best bet for in-game inclusion is a Jumbotron presentation of Shrek’s karaoke party.

“Born to the Wild”

Long synonymous with motorcycle adventures, Steppenwolf’s magnum opus sustained respectable legs in a sporting context. It has one of the more pulsating rhythms of all the Jock Rock, Volume 1 tracks and a catchy titular hook.

Beyond the original artist’s version, this song also has a place in the Mighty Ducks trilogy. The third and final movie, released in 1996, has the Eden Hall Academy pep band playing it during Dean Portman’s striptease.

“What I Like About You”

After a “Dee-fense!” interstitial, the Romantics set a solid tone for Side 2 of the cassette. A borderline ’80s song (it was released as a single in 1979, but the full album emerged in 1980), this is, not surprisingly, more energized than most of its Jock Rock teammates.

One can cue up this song’s beginning at a stoppage of play and keep it going for as long as the break lasts. Since 2007, the same has held true for a cover version by Poison.

 

 

“Shout”

For a variety of reasons, this Isley Brothers original is not as memorable as the Otis Day cover from Animal House. But those who needed to use what they had did just that when it came to playing “Shout” at a game.

“Takin’ Care of Business”

Depending on what a given ’90s kid was exposed to first, Jock Rock made one think of Office Depot or vice versa.

Given Bachman-Turner Overdrive’s Canadian roots, this song found a natural home alongside “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” and “Roll on Down the Highway” at the Great White North’s amateur hockey venues. In major junior, it is a long-standing standard for the WHL’s Kamloops Blazers.

Below the 49th parallel, it has enjoyed protracted associations with baseball’s New York Mets and basketball’s Charlotte Hornets. And in minor pro hockey, back when canned selections were sparse and someone wanted to be be different, it was not unheard for a DJ to use this as a goal song.

“Bang the Drum All Day”

Curiously known as an NFL touchdown song, particularly for the Green Bay Packers, this 1983 Todd Rundgren product is the baby track on Jock Rock, Volume 1.

More broadly, like the majority of its teammates, “Bang the Drum All Day” has been inevitably lost in an ever-rising crowd of sound-system tracks. But during its heyday late in the last century, it was one of the better fits. It had just enough oomph and speed to meet the mood, and still could during nostalgia-themed promotional events.

“Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye”

This Steam song will hit its golden anniversary come November, which means it was approaching silver at the time of Jock Rock. And for nearly two decades before that, it already had athletic attributes thanks to Chicago White Sox organist Nancy Faust.

When all in-game music at professional venues still came from the organ, Faust slyly cued this up when the visitors made a pitching change. After the original version hit ESPN’s compilation, DJs played it for that occasion or for game misconducts to an opposing player. In addition, college fans are especially known to chant the hook, infusing “Hey (opponent’s name), goodbye!”in the waning moments of a sure victory.

Context counts, so for an otherwise boring-sounding track, partial credit is due. And for this somewhat short list of oldies to start the Jock series, this was an okay segueway to the final-buzzer interstitial and the Sportscenter theme.

Wallaby Wednesday: Quinn Kitmitto passed good judgment on Mr. Lawrence

Quinn Kitmitto catches up with former fellow Rocko's Modern Life staples. From left to right: Writer Martin Olson, actors Charlie Adler, Carlos Alazraqui, Tom Kenny and Kitmitto.

The pineapples might as well represent the memories and the friendships that fostered them. So far in Quinn Kitmitto’s post-Nickelodeon phase, they have lasted a lifetime.

They have stuck to her web wall for all of the world to see, and therefore associate with her career. One of them is among the last things she sees before retiring for the night. In turn, it is among the first sights to greet her in the morning.

The pineapple’s presence in her 21st century life rivals that in Rocko’s Modern Life. It is not a foremost or flashy theme, but it is memorable and catchy.

In the show’s first season, for which Kitmitto was a production assistant, the mere metaphor of a spiky tropical fruit gave blue floor tiles an eye-starring appeal to a driving instructor at the O-Town DMV. With that association, they contrasted favorably with the avoid-at-all-cost “hot lava” on the white tiles.

By Season 3, Kitmitto’s second and final credited as a production coordinator, slices of pineapple were lending live-action meatloaf “a festive touch” in “Wacky Delly.”

In between, a barrage of full fruits closed the final Fatheads scene within “I Have No Son!” That two-part segment kicked off the second season, one where Kitmitto pulled momentous double duty on Rocko.

Roughly a quarter-century later, the front page of Kitmitto’s website lists dozens of the advertisers, entertainment giants and individual programs she has bequeathed her voice talent to. Of all the name drops, she saves her breakthrough role on the “Nickelodeon 90’s classic ‘Rocko’s Modern Life’” for last.

Scroll down a tad, and Rocko clips constitute the first of her three demo uploads. Scroll down further, and you will find the pet psychologist from Season 1’s “Clean Lovin’” and his monokini-clad fans in the center of an image gallery.

Behind all of that sits white wallpaper peppered with pineapples that appear to be raining.

“Ugh, the website,” Kitmitto told Pucks and Recreation in a recent email exchange. “I paid a college kid $1,000 to do that. And when I found out WIX websites are free…I felt like ‘a big dummy head!’ to quote Filburt.”

Made a moderate motif by Rocko, then made famous as an undersea house by succeeding Nicktoon Spongebob Squarepants, the fruit has never fallen far from Kitmitto’s conscience. Beyond her online display, she has a golden pineapple-shaped lamp at home.

The voice behind Mary Jane/Iron Jane in 2016’s star-studded Marvel Avengers Academy video game and Jessi on Clay Kids admits she was not purposely thinking of her career launch pad while decorating. But she can never have enough happy reminders of it, no matter how subtle.

Mark O’Hare, Doug Lawrence, Derek Drymon, Quinn Kitmitto, Tom Yasumi, Jill Talley and Robert Porter

“The pineapple wallpaper was just so cute!” she said, now coming across as her breakout character. Of the connection to Rocko, she continued, “I guess so. Never even realized that, but now that you ask, probably! Subconsciously?

“I’ve always loved the whimsical design of the show.”

Kitmitto found sounds there to love as much as the sights, and in the process heavily influenced a key character. And all within two years of finishing college.

In the spring of 1991, the Los Angeles-area native was wrapping up her degree in history at UCLA, and admittedly had “no idea what I was going to do next.” To gain class credits, she turned to DIC Animation City, where she worked on a pair of one-year wonders. Wish Kid — starring Macaulay Culkin between his two Home Alone films — and Hammerman — hosted by and named after MC Hammer — graced NBC and ABC, respectively, in 1991-92.

A subsequent stint at Limelight — where she assisted the company’s founder, the prolific music-video director Steve Barron — parlayed Kitmitto to Nickelodeon. Through Mary Harrington, one of Rocko’s executive producers, she was enlisted opposite Jim Leber, now a longtime engineer at at the network, to furnish the studio.

“Jim and I ordered all the furniture, desks, tables, phones, office and art supplies,” she said. “He and I alone basically created the entire layout of the office space, before the artists were even hired.”

As her story goes, Kitmitto encouraged one of the program’s eventual voice artists to ease out of his shell. At an L.A. reunion panel in 2012, Doug Lawrence remembered hesitating to audition for Filburt. Despite standing in during preliminary reads, he feared risking his established writing, animating and directing roles.

Kitmitto described Mr. Lawrence’s Filburt as a “hilarious impersonation” of The Jerky Boys, a prank-phone-call comedy team discovered by Howard Stern. She approached series creator Joe Murray, who had heard several anonymous audition tapes before learning the turtle’s identity.

Lawrence, Murray told Lisa Trainor in 1997, “personally brought so much to that character. He is tremendously talented. We lucked out having him on the show.”

Filburt made a modest six appearances in Season 1, beginning with “Canned” on Sept. 19, 1993. Over that year, he gradually evolved from an anonymous stock character to a staple in the Rocko chronicles.

By Season 2, Lawrence’s versatile presence and inclination to return a favor boosted Kitmitto’s own multifaceted career. While being promoted in the production department, she effectively had her voice-touting gesture written into the series.

 

Before she started drawing regular Internet Movie Database acting credits (not all of which, she says, are accurate) circa 2013, Kitmitto broke that ice via “Kiss Me, I’m Foreign.” The second segment of the season’s seventh episode premiered Dec. 4, 1994.

Lawrence wrote the plot of Rocko facing deportation before Heffer claims he is engaged to Filburt. The turtle promptly plays along, getting in touch with his feminine side as “Ophelia.”

Presiding over the hasty courthouse wedding is a perky young judge who adores Ophelia’s voice. So much so that she phones the couple’s residence multiple times afterward for the sole purpose of hearing it again. That is until an already irritable Filburt admonishes her to “Quit calling here!” and gets a retaliatory receiver between the eyes.

Though not named during the episode itself, the judge is known as Quinn. Lawrence had created the character with Kitmitto in mind, and successfully reversed the roles in pitching her to Murray.

“Quinn the Judge was based on me,” Kitmitto said. “It was just my regular voice, and the inside joke was the inspiration that brought on the sassy ‘You’re mean!’”

Lawrence’s voiceover magnum opus at the time also uncharacteristically killed off a lesser known Kitmitto character. “Kiss Me I’m Foreign” opens and closes with a subplot on parasitic squirrels, two of whom claim Filburt as their host.

Filburt, along with several other turtles plus the judge and the immigration officer, resorts to a hygienic squirrel grenade. Kitmitto plays the female whose husband calls the pet name “Fuzzy Lips” before their episode-ending afterlife smooth.

Apart from another cameo as Earl’s fairy dogmother in “Frog’s Best Friend,” Kitmitto stuck with production for the balance of her Rocko tenure. Her working partnership with Lawrence, who later famously added Plankton on Spongebob to his repertoire, continued through a slew of short films. She was also prepared to play Tabitha — the protagonist’s love interest on the Lawrence-created, puppet-centered Lost on Earth — before the pilot was left to rot.

Late in Rocko’s production stretch, Kitmitto moved to New Jersey to start a family with her then-husband. Raising three children would ultimately keep her out of regular work for a decade and a half. Among other drawbacks, that meant missing out on Spongebob, which would have reunited her with Lawrence, titular performer Tom Kenny (aka Heffer) and the show’s late creator Steve Hillenberg.

“I think kids who grew up watching (Rocko) are going to go nuts over (Static Cling). I believe it’s going to be a huge hit!” - Quinn Kitmitto

Despite the lack of career encouragement from her ex-husband, Kitmitto has kept her foundational showbiz relationships strong. When Hillenberg died from ALS this past November, she joined a who’s who of Rocko alumni at memorials in December and March. Since returning to L.A. and reviving her IMDB portfolio, she has taken voice classes with Charlie Adler (the Bigheads) and frequented Kenny’s standup shows.

“All of those guys are my mentors,” she said in reference to Adler, Carlos Alazraqui (Rocko), Kenny and Lawrence. “I adore them all!”

As Kitmitto continues her career, the resonance of her breakout program transcends competing entertainment giants. She teased an upcoming Disney production in which she employs a “Bart Simpson/Filburt mashup voice.”

Meanwhile, the past is finally coming back from space this summer. Netflix has picked up the long-homeless Rocko reboot movie Static Cling, for which a Melrose Avenue restaurant held a recent premiere.

Joining writer Martin Olson for the grand transmission, Kitmitto caught up with every key cog from the film. As 10 TV screens ran their product, it quickly became apparent which viewers were with the franchise from the beginning and which came later. Some may have been too young to remember the movie’s basis in its original run.

Of herself and her colleagues from that time, Kitmitto said, “We were cracking up.” Conversely, “The young peeps who worked on it didn’t seem to be laughing at certain parts.

“But what we concluded was that we were privy to the inside joke that preceded certain parts of the film. Overall it was well received. I think kids who grew up watching it are going to go nuts over this. I believe it’s going to be a huge hit!”

If nothing else, it is already doing its part to address an insatiable itch for what one may call the Orange Age. Just like their millennial consumers, the makers of ’90s Nicktoons never seem to tire of the primordial purity the shows tie in with that time in their lives.

“Most of us were in our early 20s or 30s,” Kitmitto said. “All of us young and starting off, so no egos.

“I think everyone you could ask who started off there would say the same. It was a unique, collaborative, creative, supportive experience that we all benefited from being a part of. So much love, such a wonderful time of my life.”

Revisiting the rest of Astro Lounge 20 years later

Half a month after Astro Lounge hit music shelves, reviewer Michael Tedder heard a hodgepodge in Smash Mouth’s second album.

In his Maneater review, published June 23, 1999, Tedder wrote, “most of the album sounds like an-all American garage band treading all over the pop-culture map with the zeal of early XTC, Talking Heads and even a postmodern day Beck.”

He continued, “In theory, it sounds like a mess. But on CD, it sounds like a masterpiece. Astro Lounge is one of those rare albums where almost any song released of it would likely be a top-ten single, and several tracks will no doubt go to number one. Even the surprisingly somber ‘Waste’ will reach the ballad-loving audience.”

As it approaches its official 20-year anniversary this Saturday, Astro Lounge is well back on Earth. Only “All Star,” which had its 20-year milestone as a single last month, hit Tedder’s lofty prognostication. But many other tunes fared non-allergenically, and might have pierced the stratosphere under more opportune circumstances.

More crucially for the band, the album established their identity and secured their mainstream position. With the latter achievement, it also gave them license to keep broadening their horizons.

As Tedder was apt to observe, they were already doing that. Bassist and secondary songwriter Paul De Lisle acknowledged as much in interviews plugging the CD.

“We realized that we’re not really a punk band,” he said in the embedded video above, uploaded to Toazted’s YouTube channel. “We just kind of found out strength a little more. It’s a litte bit slower a record, a little more melodic and it’s just more song-oriented.”

As it happened, though, Smash Mouth’s pinnacle of success was relatively short. Besides 2001’s Smash Mouth, it is hard to argue that any of their other albums can challenge Astro Lounge’s legacy.

With that in mind, it is worth noting that “All Star” did not singlehandedly brighten the CD’s bulb. From the forgotten to the other commercial heavyweights, here is a look back on the (potential) meanings and performances of the 14 other Astro Lounge songs. Tracks are revisited in order of appearance on the album.

“Who’s There”

As with some of its more recognized cohabitants, this leadoff track begins with a tone- and theme-setting sound effect. For all of the variety in Astro Lounge, it is appropriate that an album with artwork depicting interplanetary luxuries should feature a song about extraterrestrial encounters.

What kind of alien-visit story “Who’s There” is getting at is hard to determine. Perhaps that is the idea. Even when it ceases to be unseen, the unknown remains the unknown.

All the while, the lyrics accentuate the chaos with the varied visuals they evoke. Some people are clearly fearful, per their expressions and actions. (“Out the theater doors they’re screaming, ushers pick up treasures.) Others, particularly the “children” who “gather and wonder” sound mystified and innocently willing to give the benefit of the doubt.

If the former crowd reacts appropriately, this song would probably still have been out of place in, say, 2005’s The War of the Worlds. Even if it had the requisite recognition to appear in other media, the tempo is not dark enough. But if the children are right, this might be a plot along the lines of the Simpsons gems “Bart’s Comet” and “Lisa the Skeptic.” Or fodder for a segment on the Science Channel’s Strange Evidence.

So who is right? Smash Mouth is not telling us for sure. They just leave off on the titular query.

“Diggin’ Your Scene”

Per Songfacts, writer and guitarist Greg Camp offered, “That song’s about things you love and can’t live without that can nonetheless kill you. It’s mostly about a particular relationship, but I compare the relationship to drugs — people can be like drugs you’re addicted to.”

That explains the second bridge’s simile, “Like a junkie knows he ought to kick.” But for the most part, the metaphors and implicit straightforward narration suggest feeling controlled by a femme fatale. The steady speed of the music and delivery capture the way some find such a scenario disturbingly exhilarating.

Commercially, this song fared unremarkably. But whether it was hardcore fan response, the band’s own liking or a combination thereof, “Diggin’ Your Scene” returned in 2005 as part of the All Star Smash Hits compilation album.

“I Just Wanna See”

After the first two tracks evoke visions of sci-fi/horror and romance/thriller/action genre mashups, this comes at an appropriate point. It also instills assorted visuals of age groups, occupations and creatures, but without the disruptions or distractions.

“I Just Wanna See” is slower paced than its two immediate predecessors, yet unmistakably upbeat. Through the decades, listeners have consistently taken it as a fresher articulation of “Stop and smell the roses.” (As it happens, that adage is actually evoked in later track. More on that soon.)

 

“Waste”

Just like “Diggin’ Your Scene,” “Waste” flew under the mainstream radar, but cracked the 20-track All Star Smash Hits roster. It is also one of 11 songs with an official music video on Smash Mouth’s YouTube channel.

The way this largely forgotten single (released April 27, 2000) is singled out by the band is rather appropriate. At its inception, it introduced the new variety in Smash Mouth’s repertoire better than most of its teammates.

In terms of track listing between Astro Lounge and its predecessor, “Waste” is the group’s first subdued song. While “I Just Wanna See” is slow and soft in its own right, “Waste” conveys reflective regret. The pace barely kicks up around the midway point, but only enough to intensify the lament.

To lend the song more power, it focuses on the aftermath of an unpleasant scenario while the video illustrates the action. The upscale restaurant setting cleverly literalizes the lyrics’ metaphors on “messy recipes of romance” and “too many cooks in the kitchen.”

Appropriately, after this song fades, we go right into “All Star.” Whether this was a calculated ordering or not, it makes for a timely pick-me-up.

 

 

“Satellite”

As the sixth track, “Satellite” was eternally condemned to the impossible task of following the act of “All Star.” But if nothing else, it saw action in films that younger audiences would have noticed.

As this author previously recounted, “All Star” was how millennial kids could first hear Smash Mouth in age-appropriate media. No sneaking around parents, parental control or parental advisories necessary.

In less than a year, those who remembered Harwell’s voice might have recognized it again in Snow Day. The Nickelodeon movie released at midwinter 2000 has “Satellite” playing, somewhat faded, behind the introduction to the protagonist’s crush.

“Radio”

Here is another track that, shall we say, hits the ground running and does not slow down until it finishes. That approach captures and conveys the chaos and fast pace of the fluctuating hot list and the sway it holds on an artist’s fame.

Once again, Smash Mouth puts fresh twists on trite phrases in this song. “Radio” concludes with a don’t-get-too-high-on-success warning, “In fifteen minutes you’re a Neanderthal.”

Odds are that prehistoric evocation was selected to rhyme with “cattle call” and “disco ball.” But it also works as a less clichéd alternative to dinosaur in this context.

Before that, to accentuate the tune’s personal touch, the band references its roots through repeated proud queries of “San Jo who would’ve ever thought?” Contrasted with Hollywood (also mentioned in the lyrics) downstate, San Jose is the group’s relatively forgotten place of origin.

Even in the Bay Area — Dionne Warwick oldies and Sharks hockey aside — San Jose is historically eclipsed by San Francisco and Oakland. “Radio” therefore speaks to Smash Mouth’s self-awareness of how high it had to climb in the public eye and, in turn, how far it could have fallen at any time after Astro Lounge. With that said, the song’s consistent rhythm underscores their intent to just keep pursuing their formula for success.

“Stoned”

Coming off “Radio” or not, this song with a not-so-subtle chorus about “getting high” makes an interesting segue into the next track. Not unlike “Diggin’ Your Scene,” there is some dangerous denial coming from the narrator’s mouth here.

 

 

“Then the Morning Comes”

As one mark of this song’s success, it joined “All Star” as the only other Astro Lounge track to make Now! That’s What I Call Music. Within months of “All Star” helping to tout the compilation’s third installment on TV, “Then the Morning Comes” led off the commercials for Now 4.

This would be the third chronological single from Astro Lounge, and the first released as one after the full album. For at least three years thereafter, it constituted the soundtrack to several retail ads. (This author distinctly remembers hearing it in a clothing commercial while on vacation in August 2002.)

The intro also makes an easy choice to kick off an a.m. TV or radio talk show. Its alarm-clock sound effect, automated “Good morning” and instrumental riff pack sufficient musical coffee alone. Nobody needs to know or remember that the subsequent lyrics tell of old partying patterns, complete with painful hangovers afterward.

“Road Man”

It is hard to get distracted from the lyrics to this tale of a tune. Somehow the limited, lightweight instrumental dressing cannot cloud the notion that the title character’s story will end badly.

In the chorus and first three bridges, Steve Harwell’s narrator recounts his calm, straightforward warning to practice commonsense traffic safety. When the fictitious road manager disobeys, the consequences illustrate how the risk outweighed the reward all along.

The delivery of the fateful fourth bridge and final chorus repeat would fit right into any so-deceptively-lighthearted-it’s-disturbing public-service announcement. Unlike the narrator of “I Just Wanna See,” the road man lets himself get caught up in a craving for speed. As a result, he lives fast and dies young, though the lyrics barely circumvent the latter detail.

“Fallen Horses”

Seven tracks after “Waste,” this is another deep-thought ballad open to melancholic interpretation. One might even take it as the funereal follow-up to “Road Man” as the title figure’s fate sinks in.

Where “Waste” is subdued over something the narrator might have done better, “Fallen Horses” agonizes over that which one cannot control, let alone rectify. That helplessness spurs the cut-and-dry refrain, “Tell me why? Why, oh, why? I said why? Why, oh, why?”

“Defeat You”

In the track order, just as “All Star” is the bounce-back after “Waste,” “Defeat You” is the bounce-back after “Fallen Horses.” It also has its plain distinctions from the album’s earlier downtrodden-to-determined pattern.

“All Star” focuses squarely on the protagonist and their positives. “Defeat You” is directed at a rival. The song’s bridges build up the hypothetical recipient’s profile before the chorus and conclusion overpower them and bring them down.

The twists in the last bridge, in particular, imply exposing a paper tiger in either a competition or court case. In turn, the line “I know what you’ve done/It makes it that much better to defeat you” acquires an intriguing ambiguity.

Is the knowledge of accomplishments that motivate the long-suffering underdog or of bad deeds warranting karma? It could, by all means, be both.

 

 

“Come On, Come On”

How is this for staying power? In December 2003, Smash Mouth guest-starred and performed an abridged, sterilized version of this song on the Disney Channel series Kim Possible. And their animated incarnations more or less resembled those adorning that year’s album, Get the Picture?

The show’s choice of the Astro Lounge track chalked up to four-and-a-half years after the album. In between, though never released as a single, “Come On, Come On” had several stints on screens of all sizes. Just to name two, it followed the snippet of “Satellite” to lend the aforementioned Snow Day a double-dose of Smash Mouth, then graced Dude, Where’s My Car? later in 2000.

“Home”

The penultimate Astro Lounge track also assumes the persona of a distant relative of its signature song. “All Star” comes across as pure upbeat motivation while “Home” poses a basic, but rigid question as to “What do you do when opportunity knocks…”

Adding to the paradoxically colorful plainness, Harwell presents the options of “Lottery or poverty or a commodity.” The first two extremes, in particular, ought to spur anyone to test their skills or instill an understanding for those who take seemingly iffy risks.

“Can’t Get Enough of You Baby”

The album’s first chronological single (released nearly a full year earlier) carried on a brief unofficial Smash Mouth tradition. Like Fush Yu Mang with War’s “Why Can’t We Be Friends” and Smash Mouth with the Monkees’ “I’m A Believer,” Astro Lounge closes with a cover. (They would do this again in 2012’s Magic with Simple Minds’ “Don’t You (Forget About Me).”)

Though performed by several other artists of varying name recognition since the mid-’60s, “Can’t Get Enough of You Baby” got a modern mainstream boost from Smash Mouth. It showed up on several hit lists and took the second slot on the Can’t Hardly Wait soundtrack. The film in question, which hit theaters the same day the single was released (June 12, 1998), also featured “Walkin’ on the Sun.”

By 2007, the song had a second wind via Pizza Hut’s ads for the chain’s Bonus Pizza promotion. The fact that only an instrumental portion plays in the ad speaks to the tune’s resonance. Apparently, marketers were confident that prospective customers would recognize the song and why it made sense in this context without Harwell’s help.

Wallaby Wednesday: What other episodes should a Rocko live read feature?

It is hard to imagine any Rocko’s Modern Life aficionado omitting a cast reunion/panel/live table read from their bucket list. If the concept did not occur to one on its own before, the reality surely whet one’s appetite in 2012.

That was when creator Joe Murray and several key crew members convened in Los Angeles with four key actors. Concomitant with the show’s long-awaited DVD release, Charlie Adler, Carlos Alazraqui, Tom Kenny and Doug Lawrence revived their flagship RML voices via “Wacky Delly: Part I.”

Three years later, when Adler, Alazraqui and Kenny hit Florida Supercon, they resourcefully read “Cabin Fever.” Mr. Lawrence was preoccupied with a cartoon production commitment, for which his colleagues pardoned him in the subsequent Q-and-A.

Naturally, the top unanswered question from that panel is why stop there? There are more episodes worth reenacting, and more recurring performers worth trying to get in on the act.

As it relates to Rocko, ’90s nostalgia is doing nothing if not intensifying. To keep scratching that itch, one can hope various combinations of the cast will work to regroup for more table reads before adoring audiences.

Given her higher-profile career in live-action directing and production, Linda Wallem may be harder to borrow for a reunion. Then again, per the Internet Movie Database, the Carol Cleveland to Rocko’s Monty Python did reprise Dr. Hutchison and Crazy Aunt Gretchen in the (finally) soon-to-premiere Static Cling.

In short, never say never on anyone’s availability as long as they have a pulse. But apart from the most crucial troika based on volume of appearances, be prepared to make do with who you can get.

On that note, this author has selected the best live-read material based on various potential absences or lack thereof. None of this is to rate a given episode in general over its peers. These choices are based largely on lines that would be the most fun to see spoken by the source’s mouth.

“Rocko’s Happy Vermin”

While his chief character, Heffer, sits this story out, Kenny would get plenty of work as Flecko. Still, in this hypothetical repeat of the 2015 Florida Supercon lineup, he would take a backseat to Adler and Alazraqui.

The reason: This segment’s climactic scene bears several gems of dialogue between Rocko and both Bigheads. Flecko silently sets it off by writing a blunt message while Rocko reads it in real time.

“He’s…going…to…eat us…you…idiot.”

After more of Flecko’s louder-speaking actions, Ed is in one of his amusingly disoriented states. That is where we get Rocko peering into a fallen piano and cautiously suggesting, “I think I’ll take the bugs home now. Okay?”

“Bugs?” Ed asks in a not-so-Ed-like voice. “What are bugs?”

“Goodnight, Mr. Bighead,” Rocko replies as he opportunistically closes the piano cover. Ed continues to ramble, “Bugs? I don’t know about bugs.”

Rocko then completes his rescue by pretending to sample his neighbors’ intended meal. As Bev keeps granting his request for “More please,” he sustains the pattern in an exponentially full-mouth voice.

Not to be forgotten in all of that: Alazraqui also voices the overly enthusiastic exterminator.

 

“Uniform Behavior”

Granted, Wallem would be underutilized in this scenario. Barring a special addition to the script or a trade in additional roles, her only line, as Virginia Wolfe, would be, “Now dear, let’s not lose our temper.”

That aside, watching Kenny whimper “I feel naked and alone” to start the final scene would all but singlehandedly justify the price of admission. The preceding “I don’t want to be a cop anymore!” and several guttural screams of fright would not hurt either.

Assuming Alazraqui is emceeing, like he did for the “Cabin Fever” live read, he would have an easy time colorfully setting every scene. Heffer’s stripping and streaking and the slew of Shining references that precipitate it would make the meat of that aspect.

“Belch of Destiny” would be another solid option for the five-some of Adler, Alazraqui, Kenny, Lawrence and Wallem. This Heffer-centric episode would also let Adler bring back George Wolfe. Wallem would speak briefly as Virginia, and also play the Weasel Scout troop guide.

Getting David Pritchard to recreate his famous belch-talking (his only IMDB acting credit) on cue would be a tall order. But surely a recording is available, which would have the added benefit of Kenny lip-syncing the lines as Heffer.

“I Have No Son!”

If it’s the four main male actors plus Murray, there is only one logical untapped choice. Since they have already redone “Wacky Delly” (or at least half of it), Ralph Bighead’s other speaking appearance is the way to go.

For Lawrence, whose performing parts paled in comparison to his three core castmates over the breadth of the series, this would be an exceptional opportunity to shine. He is the real-life creator of The Fatheads, and also narrates the show within the show.

Those interspersed “clips” would also give Alazraqui or Murray a chance for more colorful dialogue-framing descriptions. And while Martin Olson’s corporeal presence to provide the one-man laugh track would be best, a recording would suffice.

Not to mention, who among the Rocko fan base would not want to watch Murray recreate Ralph’s “Never!” tirade in its entirety?

“Tickled Pinky”

This would be the best option for a panel that Wallem makes but Lawrence misses. Between Hutch, Pinky, Ms. Pancreas and Rocko’s bladder, Wallem would get ample, wide-ranging work. Perhaps the best among that would be Rocko’s appendix adorably making dangerous requests.

Meanwhile, Alazraqui and Kenny would primarily stick to their core characters, and Adler would have fun reviving Seymour the boil-laden ram.

“To Heck and Back” is a close runner-up for this lineup. Wallem plays Karen and the cashier, and Kenny steals the spotlight through his double-shifting dialogue as Heffer and Peaches.

“Kiss Me, I’m Foreign”

This would all but signal the best-case gang’s-all-here scenario. There would be a sufficient supply of lines for Wallem as Hutch plus the voices of Rocko, Heffer, Filburt and the Bigheads. Alazraqui would have extra duties as the turn-the-page-wash-your-hands rabbit.

As a bonus, under these circumstances, Quinn Kitmitto would be there to bring back her first animation acting role. She memorably enlivened the perky judge who officiates Rocko’s “wedding” with “Ophelia.”

“Speaking Terms”

With Nosey slated to come back in Static Cling, Jill Talley will double the Rocko credits on her resume. But within the series, Kenny’s wife (they married the year this episode premiered) had one go-round as the talk-show host capitalizing on Heffer and Rocko’s feud.

In the episode, Filburt does his part to egg his bickering friends on. But with the embarrassingly motherly Virginia playing peacekeeper, Wallem has a notable role as well.

First-year Devil Tariq Hammond getting a good read on Binghamton

(Photo credit: JustSports Photography/Binghamton Devils)

 

Tariq Hammond’s volunteer excursions typically follow the same pattern. He will read to school children, answer questions about life as a hockey player and repeat the same process over again.

 

 

That was the format at CR Weeks, Deposit Elementary and Olmstead Elementary, all located within 30 miles of Binghamton, where he spent the better part of his rookie season with the Devils’ AHL affiliate this past year.

Despite the routine feel of these volunteer experiences, one moment stands out for the defenseman. Just like a game schedule, some editions on his school-visit slate pack an inescapably greater magnitude.

“I once read to an entire school,” Hammond told Pucks and Recreation, “which was stunning that the school arranged for me to read to that large a gathering of school children.”

That school was Chenango Forks Elementary, a Binghamton institute with an estimated K-through-5 enrollment of 700 students. The student-teacher ratio there is 14:1, meaning Hammond had the average classroom size multiplied by 50 during his drop-in.

“Luckily, I didn’t stumble too hard over the words,” he laughed when reflecting on that unexpected task.

Stumbles or not, that community involvement was enough to garner the Calgary native his team’s nomination for the AHL’s Yanick Dupre Memorial Award, given annually to an AHL player for contributions to the local community and charititable organizations. (The 2019 award has since gone to Landon Ferraro of the Iowa Wild.)

Before his notable achievements this year, Hammond was extensively involved in his amateur and collegiate stops. By the time he turned pro last spring, it was almost second nature for him to devote his time in Upstate New York.

Moreover, he had established a niche in promoting reading. Hammond played for the Okotoks Oilers of the Alberta Junior Hockey League from 2011 to 2014, and used that opportunity to volunteer in local literacy programs.

 

(Photo credit: JustSports Photography/Binghamton Devils)

 

“Volunteering is something I like doing,” he said. “I think it helps make the kids’ day, and it certainly brightens my day. It is easy to do, but it goes a long way and impacts everyone involved.”

As his hockey career progressed, Hammond continued to build a remarkable service resume. During his days at the University of Denver, where he won a national title and later captained the Pioneers, he built sustained relationships in the area that have continued post-graduation.

“In the offseason, I often spend much of my time in Denver,” he said. “I connect with alumni that used to play for Denver. We organize charity hockey tournaments. One of them is called the Dawg Bowl which is often used to benefit former hockey players with life-threatening illnesses. In fact, last year the tournament raised money for the Humboldt Broncos.”

Now in its ninth year, the Dawg Bowl will take place from June 20 through June 23, with 42 teams in seven divisions. The beneficiary, a member of the Saskatchewan Junior Hockey League, experienced a tragic bus crash that killed 16 people and injured 13 others when a semi-trailer truck struck their northbound coach bus near Armley, Saskatchewan, in 2018.

To honor the survivors and commemorate those who have died, the highlight of the Dawg Bowl this year is the Survivor Game, where all the participants will wear Humboldt jerseys. Beyond the games, fans indulge in food, live music and a kid’s zone to raise money for a good cause.

Just as Hammond wasted no time constructing a strong rapport with his Mile High community, he jumped right into the Binghamton area this past year. He explained that the B-Devils form partnerships with individual schools and offer the chance to get involved in different schools.

Besides learning more about his own off-ice passions, Hammond has extended his teamwork with fellow New Jersey hopefuls.

“I often volunteer with a few teammates,” he said, “and it is cool to get away from the rink to see a different side of my teammates than what I normally see.”

Beyond these insights into his colleagues, Hammond also relishes the chance to interact with local schoolchildren.

(Photo credit: JustSports Photography/Binghamton Devils)

“All of the kids I read to are different, and I enjoy meeting each one,” he said Hammond. “They often ask funny questions about life as a hockey player, and it is enjoyable to see what they say.”

Beyond the Devils’ reading program, Hammond has also participated in the Toys for Tots Spaghetti Dinner and the Devils’ booster-club meetings. His involvement continues a strong tradition of the Devils’ commitment to delivering a memorable holiday season.

For 17 years, the local AHL franchise has partnered with the Binghamton, Endicott, Johnson City and Vestal Police Departments to offer this dinner to benefit the Broome County Toys for Tots program. The partnership dates back to when the league returned to the city in 2002 with the Senators, who arrived five years after the Rangers departed.

Since becoming New Jersey’s farm base in 2017-18, the Binghamton Devils have followed that precedent. The Toys for Tots program collects unwrapped toys to deliver to families in need during the holiday season. In his first shift, Hammond and other Devils players served an Italian dinner to generous donors and supporters.

Both the dinner and the Booster Club Meetings meaningfully impacted Hammond. “The team does a lot for the community and the Booster Club does a lot for the team,” he said. “Getting to know them has been influential for me to just simply say thank you for their support of the Devils.”

With 2018-19 behind him, Hammond has exhausted a one-year minor-league contract with the Devils. But whether he is back in Binghamton or taking root elsewhere this fall, one can expect him to continue devoting his time to community service and honing his skills on the ice.

“Hockey players and athletes make a huge impact in their community,” he said. “The fans show up for our games, which is why it is always better to play on home ice. The fans care about you. It is only right to get involved in your community for the fans who spend their time coming to watch you play. Your presence really grows around the town, and it goes a long way in making a difference.”

-          John Morton