Wallaby Wednesday: Who deserved to go to the WWWWF match more?

Author’s note: This is the first installment of a new series dedicated to breaking down and reminiscing on the 1990s animated cult classic, Rocko’s Modern Life.

Given Heffer and Filburt’s behavior in the fourth-season premiere of Rocko’s Modern Life, the title character makes the right choice. Rather than offer his spare WWWWF ticket to a friend, he vows to eat the seat.

Fighting one another and slaving to a fault is plenty for them to each forfeit the privilege. But maybe Rocko could have prevented the chaos.

The episode, “With Friends Like These,” begins with Heffer and Filburt going all-out to win the tickets for themselves. But when they try too hard, they miss their chance to make the lucky 92nd call to KWOO. None other than Rocko, having erroneously called the station, lands the prize himself.

Even before starting their competitive antics, Heffer and Filburt make their desire to attend the wrestling match clear. At that point, it would not have been out of character for Rocko to give both tickets away. He knows he obtained the tickets by accident, and can likely tell his friends were actively in the station’s contest.

Naturally, that decision would not have made for much of a quarter-hour teleplay. The next-best thing to the actual events of “With Friends Like These” would have been a clip show. Let Rocko take up a Tevye position, weighing Heffer’s worth on the one hand and Filburt’s on the other.

At least then you could still have the ticket-ripping culmination that vaguely and amusingly evokes the Judgment of Solomon. By revisiting everything we know from the chronicles of the three preceding seasons, Rocko would still likely be driven to disorientation.

But with that said, if you were in the wallaby’s size-nine shoes and had to choose a guest, who would you take? To aid your decision, the following is a comprehensive summary of Heffer and Filburt’s pluses and minuses.

Over the first three seasons, Heffer logs substantially more adventures with Rocko. This leaves him more room to both build and blow his case.

But Filburt has a similar balance of commendable and condemnable deeds. (Note that the most egregious of the latter, nearly feeding Rocko to a balding eagle, occurs after this episode.)

Quality will have to supersede quantity in this decision.

The case for Heffer

When Rocko passes out with appendicitis in “Tickled Pinky,” Heffer immediately realizes something is wrong. Naturally, the paramedic beavers are as absent-minded as they are quick to answer the call for an ambulance. But Heffer has the presence of mind to race Rocko to the hospital himself.

Another occurrence related to Rocko’s health and jackhammering brings out the best in Heffer. When the wallaby’s faulty vision almost has him hitting Spunky, the steer pushes the dog out of harm’s way. That close wake-up call convinces Rocko to obtain glasses (and later contact lenses).

Heffer’s quick thinking also averts Rocko’s mistaken deportation, as he convinces the immigration agent that Filburt is Rocko’s fiancée. The ensuing sham marriage buys Rocko time to secure his green card (though he was legal already).

Before saving Rocko’s stay in America, Heffer also salvages his friend’s physical property. When Ed Bighead summons an inspector to condemn the wallaby’s collapsing house, Heffer volunteers to repaint the building and fertilize the lawn. Though seemingly shoddy at first, the fixes come out perfect and turn the tables on the cantankerous cane toad.

Before any of those events, as Rocko recalls, Heffer catalyzed the most impressive light display in their high-school science class. While this is shown in Season 4’s “Put to Pasture,” it counts for this list by being a flashback.

Beyond O-Town, in “Road Rash,” Heffer fulfills Rocko’s wish for a scenic trip through the country. His gluttony, normally a detriment, even ensures their timely arrival at Flem Rock. Within moments of Rocko destroying their motorcycle, Heffer wins them the Wieniemobile by eating an entire Knockwurst Nightmare Platter.

The case against Heffer

In the same season as “Tickled Pinky,” Heffer is essentially responsible for another one of Rocko’s hospital stays. It would not have happened had the two not strayed from their comic-book delivery, squandering the day at Mt. Frosty.

Season 2 also has Heffer selling all of Rocko’s furniture behind his back during the latter’s garage sale. Adding to the exasperation, he only reels in $10. Granted, his G.I. Jimbo doll sells to single-handedly cover Rocko’s pizza debt. But that is all the more reason to leave the inside items inside.

Speaking of reeling, Heffer gets himself, Rocko and Filburt stranded at sea in Season 3’s “Fish-N-Chumps” by throwing their boat’s engine overboard.

Earlier in their friendship, Heffer sparks an Odd Couple-like rift by overstaying his welcome in “Bedfellows.” Even after he leaves, the nudists he had let into Rocko’s yard linger next door with Bev Bighead.

When he is not encroaching on Rocko’s physical territory, Heffer involves himself in his friend’s personal life too much. Case in point: The ghostwritten open love letter to Melba and the billboard hovering over the house.

The case for Filburt

With “Power Trip,” Filburt emerges as a more dimensional character rather than an unacquainted clerk. When Rocko disobeys his boss and pushes “the green button,” his behavior has Filburt almost as heavily bandaged as he is by the end of “Snowballs.” The physical, as well as psychological, wounds call for major amends.

In his only other major Season 1 appearance, Filburt discovers Rocko’s cavity and then tames the tooth after its goes into King Kong mode. And to think that Rocko was so sure he did not “need any dental work.”

While Filburt’s heroics in “Rinse and Spit” are not enough to earn his dental degree, he later turns to mechanical studies. This comes in handy when Rocko’s car breaks down, although Rocko himself helps by pointing to the broken-fixed switch.

In another effort to help the wallaby, Filburt is robbed of a clincher when Heffer accidentally muddles Rocko’s perfect haircut. His dabbling in fashion photography gives Rocko an 11th-hour chance at a picture suitable for his newspaper appearance. Another second or two, and they might have had the elusive perfect shot. Heffer ultimately offsets his own mistake, albeit in an uncomfortable fashion.

The case against Filburt

“Rinse and Spit” is a story of mixed reviews for Filburt. Yes, he alerts Rocko to the cavity and draws Dr. Hutchison’s adulation for saving O-Town. But his unusual, aversive methods of treating the tooth start the rampage in between.

Later in the arc, Heffer does not make the only near-fatal error in “Fish-N-Chumps.” After the three are stranded, Filburt’s obsession with his prized sports watch nearly gets them tugged overboard. Only a gentle giant squid with an insatiable penchant for cheese can save them at that juncture.

Later in the same third season, Filburt exploits a tiff between his friends. While it is unclear how a dispute over Rocko’s birthday mishap lands them on Nosey, there is evidence that the turtle hyped them for the executives. Mrs. Wolfe is the only other audience member who knows Heffer and Rocko, and she is unequivocally exasperated with their behavior. Conversely, Filburt eggs them on and advises them to “save some” of their rage “for the cameras.” He all but has dollar signs in his eyes.